I spent weeks thinking about this post.

Each week what the post would be about grew and mutated.

At first it was about frustrations regarding COVID19.

Then it was about the George Floyd and the BLM movement.

And then I added on about what happened at Lafayette Square and the complete disregard a President of United States had for not only the constitution but the fundamental ideals of the nation he was leading.

I hesitated on posting anything because I didn’t want to ride the coattails of politics and critically important social outrage if I felt like I had nothing really worthy to say.

But I also didn’t want to have said nothing about it all while having lived through these events.

I was mostly afraid that this post would end up becoming just a vomit of thoughts and outrage.

Then I saw that shirt.

What’s wrong with vomit of thoughts and outrage, really?

This one is more for me than for anyone who might end up reading this.

This is America.

This is America.

This is America.

At least, this is what America is right now.

It’s not what it was before. Not that it was necessarily better before.

It’s not what it may be in the future. Not that it’ll necessarily be better in the future.

What is America?

For me it was country I had no choice coming to. I came here because my family did.

I grew up in not the most ideal conditions.

I faced discrimination and bullying for my race, not being enough like my race, my assumed sexuality, my religion, and because I was generally different than others growing up.

I was bullied by Blacks, Latinos, and Asians and found help during the worst times my family faced from White people.

I was bullied by White people and found help during the worst times my family faced from Blacks, Latinos, and Asians.

I experienced first hand the corruption of the rich, the law enforcement, and the criminals who manipulated the law for their own advantage using those corruption as an excuse.

The country taught me what personal liberties mean and what it means to be equal.

It’s where I learned to fear the police and how much money can change the definition of what life means from person to person.

It’s the place I proudly call my home.

What is America?

It’s a country where everyone outside of it seems to think they’re experts of it even though there’s no other country like it.

It’s a country full of people who believe they’re the greatest in the world without never having stepped a foot into a different country.

It’s a country inescapable from diversity but full of people that’ll judge someone by their colors, uniforms, and professions.

It’s a country that’ll make most other countries seem far behind with their social issues.

It’s a country that’s unafraid to be critical of itself but blissfully unaware at times the wrongs it’s doing to other nations.

It’s a country where I can find a mosque, a Mormon church, and McDonalds all within 1 minute driving distance from one another.

And it’s a country that celebrates individual freedoms to a point where individuals will fight for their freedoms even if it means stomping over their fellow Americans.

This is my country. The country that made me who I am.

What is America?

It’s that Coke commercial. The one where a bunch of people gathered to represent diversity, sang kumbaya, and told the world they wanted to sell them a bottle of Coca-Cola. But despite that, the heartfelt message, the sincerity of it, is real.

That’s America.

America is a construct of convenience, of profit, of fidelity, and most importantly, of humanity.

It’s a paradoxical experiment but an experiment of hope. For something we couldn’t find elsewhere on this blue planet.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

Cynics would say it was written to be self-evident because there simply wasn’t verifiable proof to justify their claims. It was a world of monarchy and slavery. How could it be self-evident when the world and its history blatantly demonstrated otherwise?

Optimists would say it is self-evident because the Founding Fathers believed in a world beyond the scope of reality. That there are certain truths, regardless to whether we’ve lived up to them yet or not, always remain true.

I’ve made my choice which I’d rather be a long time ago. What kind of American I wanted to be. What kind of America I wanted. You do you.

Happy fuckin’ 4th, America and my fellow Americans.